Still Small Voice

Adolescent was hard… My whole life and my self-worth revolved around… well… girls. During a particularly hard period, I was having problems with my girlfriend. She was making me crazy and I probably was not enriching her life either. One Sunday evening I took a very hard blow to my ego. At this time I am five foot six inches tall and weighed 100 lbs (wet) so ego blows were devastating. I had all I could take and decided to commit suicide. I had the shotgun in the car but really wanted one last shot (no puns intended). I drove to church to talk to my youth leader, I told him everything. His name was Jimmy Watson and he was a good man who did his best with a bunch of 1970s sex, drugs and rock and roll Youth. Jimmy did all the correct things by the book, God loves you, Jesus loves you, it’s a sin, Bible verse, platitude, Bible verse, platitude, Bible verse… All the things they teach you in Bible College. Then he made a statement… “God must have something really special planned for you or the devil would not be trying so hard to kill you.” My heart heard this message as it was straight from God.

It is funny from that Sunday evening over 35 years ago those words come back to me in the strangest times. Standing a field in Romania where we are digging a garden for a girl’s home, speaking at a Youth Conference in Switzerland, standing on the top of Skellig Island in Ireland, looking at my friends on Facebook and seeing the Youth I have worked with over the years (many of whom are now grown with families), watching my kids grow up, watching my daughter as an adult, watching my son get married and now watching my grandson…

As I write this I can see how one might think those words so long ago could have played to my ego but the truth is… God did have something very special for my life.

As we talk to those who are hurting please be careful and don’t just give them platitudes and verses, listen for that still small voice, from God.

I’m glad Jimmy did because it has been an amazing life.