Room to Grow

My grandson will be born today. They will induce early so he has room to grow.

As my little girl gives birth it is like she was just born yesterday instead of twenty plus years ago. My grandson is coming early because he is not growing enough. I pray for my daughter as she goes through this first pain. This will not be the last time she has to let go of something so he has room to grow.

I have another grandson in South Carolina. He is three and growing so fast and learning so much. I am in Germany, he and my son seem so far away.

When the baby is born I will be a couple of rooms from my daughter and she will still be far away.

I would love to hold both of my grandsons and keep them safe, to have them sitting beside me where I could tell them stories but they both will both need room to grow.

I look at both of my children and see so many mistakes I made as a father and a parent. Sometimes I held too tight, sometimes I did not hold tight enough. When you hold too tight they don’t grow but if you don’t hold tight enough they tend to have to learn lessons the hard way.

My children spent most of their lives in Germany. They saw so many things and I prayed they learned from the good and from the bad. They saw great art and bad art, they touched history, and they saw people who dedicated their lives to their country both military and civilians. They saw a home that was opened to those who needed a place for a night, a week, a month or a year. They learned to share their possesions both material and time.

They saw Church not from the pew but from the inside. That means they saw the good and the bad. They saw great celebrations and great pain both from the same place. There were times when the church was put first and they had to keep their opinions to themselves. Even the times when they were right, just to keep the peace.

On my desk is a picture of a nineteen year old girl from Pickens, South Carolina. That same girl sits on the couch with me every night and I see what amazing things can happen when a person has room to grow. She is strong and smart, she sees the little things, and has made me a better man. She also aged really well, too.

So on the occasion of my second grandson’s birth I have this for both of my children.

You will make mistakes along the way. Prayer does not always fix them. Love is one thing you cannot give enough of but be careful not to smother those you love because you love them. Stay close enough that they know you are there but... you will have to let go of the bike so they can learn. When they see you did let go they will probably crash. Pick them up, dust them off, and make them do it again. They may someday forgive you for letting go.

Love them for who they are not who you want them to be.

When you give them room to grow there will be pain and it will be mostly yours because it is hard.

Learning from Beau

One of my first blogs was about learning “grace” from my bloodhound puppy”Beau”. He is now nearly three.

Saturday on our walk he was teaching me again, this time about trust and faith.
 
It is spring in Germany and the fields we normally walk in have some sort of high grass growing in them. I love to watch Beau hop in this grass. He looks like he has a big dumb dog smile on his face. Saturday I thought I would give him a special treat and take him through new grass. This grass was about the height my chest. Yeah I’m five six so it is not that high. To me it is not high but to Beau it is. The only thing he can see is the grass in front of him. I can see where we are going but he has to totally trust me. Beau is a bloodhound and bloodhounds do not normally follow people because they follow their nose. In this case Beau has to follow me, to follow my lead, to trust me, and not follow his own normal instincts. Beau has to have faith in me…


I think about how many times I need to follow God’s lead, totally trust him even though I cannot see where I am going. I know He knows the proper path we should take but it is not easy to want to do it my way.

It was not easy for Beau to follow me even though he knows I love him and will get us where we need to go.

Beau could have missed a new adventure if he had fought and wanted to go home but he submitted and was able to jump and play and have a good time. I enjoyed watching him and his big dumb dog smile.

If I trust God, I can have an adventure, get to have fun in the tall grass God leads me through, let God take me where I need to go, have a big dumb Buddy smile and maybe even give God a smile.

I hope I can be as obedient Beau.

Truth

I constantly read and study to prepare to teach my Sunday School class and to dig deeper into my own Christian faith. I very much want to present the scriptures in proper context. What the scriptures are saying to the people who they were written to, when they were written to them and what (if anything) are they saying to us today? I also study to be up on current issues that are going on within the church today.

Here is the rub… You have to find a source that you trust, a student/scholar of theology to help bring perspective. Any good college student knows you need more than one source so you need at least couple of student/scholars that you can trust but if they are basically cut from the same cloth then you pretty much defeat the whole purpose of getting perspective. If they are on opposite ends of the spectrum then you have much to weigh to make decisions. What if they both have good arguments and there is truth in both of their positions and we all know there is no gray area in the Bible it is all black and white and this is the point where your pull your hair and scream!!! WHAT IS THE TRUTH!?!?

Coming from a good conservative Baptist background I am constantly flashing to that judgment seat where you are standing alone answering for, how you treated others, how you used your talents, what you taught others, how you lived your life and what you believed. I cannot stand before God and say, “Well so and so said that this scripture in the original Greek… Aramaic… Hebrew… said…” One, I don’t speak or read any of these languages and two, even if I did where do I find the original texts?

Sometimes when you study to get the true meaning of the scriptures you find many of the things you were sure of before you started you are not so sure of anymore. The reason you studied was increase you knowledge to be more prepared to teach.

Funny thing is when Jesus was teaching great truths He took a child to His disciples and said, “Unless you become as this child you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

So here is my starting point “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…”

I can build from there!

Henry Bagwell

Henry Bagwell is my dad… Most of you, who know me, know me as Buddy Bagwell but my real name is Henry F. Bagwell Jr.

My dad was there as I grew up and I knew him. I knew his mannerisms, I knew his jokes, and I even sometimes knew a question he was going to ask before he ask it so I could walk away.

When I was a teenager, running amok, I did not have a list of Henry’s rules because I knew how he felt about things, I spent time with him. At the concert I did not have to look up rule 45 to see if I should smoke that joint when it makes its way here? I knew how my dad felt about that. I won’t say if I did or not…

When I was a kid I hated it when someone called me Little Henry but it happened. You see I look like my dad. As an adult one day I was walking by a window and my dad was on the other side of it. I walked back and realized it was not my dad it was my reflection.

As a child I remember thinking when I am a parent I will NEVER say some of the things I hear from my parents. One example of this is… There would be times when I was crying and, (I am sure for a very good reason), I would hear, “If you don’t stop that crying I am going to spank your butt.” Now tell me in what universe does a spanking stop crying. That was the dumbest thing I had ever heard and I knew I would NEVER say anything that dumb. Yeah… One day my young son was crying, (for no reason), and the out of my mouth came these words… “If you don’t stop that crying I am going to spank your butt.” How did it happen? I was becoming my father…

Last week I was reading a book about our relationship with God and wondered what it felt like for Jesus as He read and discussed the scripture. Jesus taught with such authority…. Maybe like He actually knew the one behind the words.

I then thought about my relationship with God. If God is my heavenly Father then why am I trying to learn more about Him from what someone else has to say? If someone wrote a book about Henry Bagwell it would be a fun read but I would not read it to learn more about him because I know him. If I have a question about my dad I will ask him. If I ask him he will give me an answer, it may not be what you want to hear but it will be an honest answer.

That should be my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I know Him because I spend time with Him. I know what He expects of me because I know Him. I don’t need to carry around a list of rules because I know how He feels about things. If I have a question about Him I ask Him. He too will give me an honest answer and it may not be what I want to hear but I know I can trust the answer.

I want to know my Heavenly Father to the point that one day when I least expect it I hear His words come out of my mouth. I can say, “How did this happen I am becoming like my Father.” I hope one day just like the reflection in the window, I that I can reflect my Heavenly Father.

My Brother is in Jail:

I just got a call that my brother is in jail. He is charged with breaking and entering, threatening bodily harm, and the jury is out on the other charges…

How did all this start?

My brother has three daughters so that in itself can work toward an insanity plea… Sorry I digress…

He has three daughters and the youngest one has fallen in “LOVE”. She is 18, so she is at the age that she can make her own decisions.

She decided to move in with her boyfriend… I don’t know do you call a 30 year old man a boyfriend?

The whole family is very unhappy about this. My brother and his wife are worried sick. Literally, neither are not sleeping, both are looking haggard and losing weight. Her sisters seeing what it is doing to their parents are not speaking to her. The situation is just bad.

My niece decided to talk to Kim (my wife) about what has been going on. It all started as a young girl with stars in her eyes found the perfect older man. He is good looking, he knows who he is, he has a great job that allows both them to travel, he has a great car that he drives and another great car that she drives, he has money, and a nice place to live. Everything a young girl could ask for in a life.

In the beginning he was very loving and caring but as time went on he started treating her like property that he could use in any way he wanted. This included degrading her in front of his friends, degrading her in front of her friends, degrading her in public in front of strangers and hitting her in private.

It finally got to the point that one night during a drunken party he passed her off to some of his friends to use as they wanted. Kim talked to her on many occasions but when she heard this she convinced her to call her parents.

She called and told her parents everything. She then asked if they would come get her. My brother headed straight to her house. When he arrived at the house the boyfriend saw who it was and would not open the door.

My brother called his daughter’s name but it was the boyfriend that answered, “This is my house and you will not step foot in it.” “Everything in this house is mine to do with as I wish to include your daughter!”

At this point he made a big mistake. He slapped my niece and she screamed those magic words…

“HELP ME DADDY!”

My brother kicked in the door. I don’t mean he kicked open the door… the entire door frame came loose.

He ran to his daughter, picked her up into his arms, and headed out the open hole that was a door. The boyfriend made one move as if he were going to stop him but saw the look in my brother’s eyes then looked at the door frame and thought better of it. He did however call the police.

My brother got his daughter safely home and into her mother’s arms. The police came and took my brother away.

My brother is very worried that the guy will come after his daughter while he is in jail. I have a couple of cousin’s back home that are making sure that does not happen. Her sisters are still not speaking to her because their dad is in jail (because of her).

The boyfriend has been calling and trying to talk her into coming back, telling her of all the good times, the trips, and the love they shared. I don't know if my niece is listening or not.

This is very much what God did. He saw His children seduced by one who offered everything the world saw as important. They felt warm and safe and secure with all those “things” but as time went on the one who seduced them used them for his own purposes. He abused them, demeaned them, and took them to their lowest point.

God sent a rescuer who lived with His children as one of them. He saw what was needed to take them away from the seducer but it meant He was going to have to sacrifice everything. When it came down to that moment He made that sacrifice.

He then put the seducer in his place and kicked open the door so we could escape.

Many of us are like my niece, after the sacrifice our Father has made for us we still take the calls from our abuser, we still listen to the lies and sometimes get back in bed with them…

Some are like her sisters when my niece came home they did not welcome her back but reminded her of her mistakes and what she has cost the family.

Some reflect God... they are long suffering, just like her parents never giving up and grieving over the lost relationship.

I think about the sad place my niece found herself but I know when we find ourselves in that place…

We too can say those magic words, “HELP ME DADDY!”

Just don’t stand in front of the door...

Paraplegic

Paul knows more about football than any person I have ever met so… every Sunday I study under the master. Paul does not watch football he studies it. He knows every play as it starts and knows when it was a busted play. He always knows what they should have done or how they could have won. He even knows what should happen when the unexpected happens and all hell breaks loose. He out thinks the coaches and the players and I hate to admit it but 99% of the time Paul is right. Paul is a millionaire thanks to football. He created and sold a fantasy football league for over a million dollars. That is my friend and football mentor Paul.

Paul’s room is full of football diagrams, playbooks and the pendants of his favorite Pro and College teams. I will not give the names or some of you will argue that if he knew anything he could not pull for that team but would pull for my favorite team.

Paul knows everything about football except how it feels to play football. You see when Paul was young he had an accident and now he is a paraplegic. After the accident the doctors worked with Paul, ran hundreds of tests but can find no “physical” reason why Paul cannot walk. After time passes the muscles atrophy and will not or cannot work anymore.

Paul has a great attitude about it all he spends 8 to 10 hours a day studying football films, on internet chat rooms chatting about football, reading books on football, and calling his friends and talking about… well football.

Paul knows all this "stuff" about football but has never caught a pass. He has never had a football hit his freezing ear while playing in the park with friends. He has never crossed the goal for a touchdown or fumbled at the end of the game and caused his team to lose. His record is perfect he has never lost a game. The problem is he has never won a game either.

There are many Christians just like Paul. Every Sunday they are at church. They study the sermons, they know all the doctrines, they have great theology, they read their Bibles, they talk to their friends about church and pray for the lost but…

They have never been on the field. They don’t have any lost friends because they have no one outside their circles who are not Christians. They use the internet but only on the proper Christian sites. They would never go to “Jamie the Very Worst Missionary” or “Tamara Out Loud” because those “Christian site” sometimes have bad language or ask the wrong questions. They would never go to a bar because of the type of people that hang out in them. A club… please do you know what happens in clubs? Meat market!!!

Christian paraplegics have never gotten into the game. Like Paul if you don’t walk your muscles atrophy and there is no walk. The good thing is if you don’t walk you don’t fall. If you don’t take a chance the bed becomes your home and it is a comfortable bed.

I have heard so many sermons about Peter’s failure when he tried to walk on the water with Jesus BUT took his eyes off the Lord, sank and nearly drowned…

“At least he got out of the damned boat!”

Stories are Easy, Life is Tough.

Fall is a great time of year. It is starting to get cooler and some folks back home (in SC) are beginning to think about hunting season. My favorite person to hunt with was my cousin. One problem my cousin had when we went hunting or other outdoor activities was that he was deathly allergic to ant bites. He was so allergic that our family doctor kept the antidote in a refrigerator in his office.

It was during Indian summer that my cousin, my uncle and I were out with our shotguns taking some practice shots and looking for good hunting places for the upcoming season. We are from the country so we have great hunting land around the house. It was an awesome morning walking through the woods talking and having a great time.

One treasure you can find this time of year is a yellow jacket nest. These aggressive bees make their nest in the ground which allows us can stand several yards away and shoot into the nest with our shotguns and watch them swarm trying to find someone to sting. We are in the woods or out in a field so we are the only person in danger of getting stung which is half the fun.

We did that for a while but the sun was warm and we decided to take a break and eat our lunch. We sat down to eat and by the time we got our sandwiches out my cousin started jumping around slapping his legs and back. I thought the yellow jackets found him but when he stood up he was covered in fire ants. I grabbed the shot guns and started running for the house. I called the doctor and asked him to meet us at the office. I then ran back to help my uncle get my cousin to the car. I jumped in the car and headed down the road (John Robinson Hill) at 100 miles per hour. We ran red lights and headed to the doctor’s office next to the hospital. It had been twenty minutes between the time my cousin got his first ant bite and we stopped in the parking lot of the doctor’s office. My cousin was shaking and having a hard time breathing, ten minutes later he was in anaphylactic shock. Twenty minutes later he died. He died right there in the parking of the building that had the medicine he needed. Five minutes after my cousin died the doctor showed up at the office. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?! He DIED right here this close to the medicine he needed to live! WHY DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG!?! If ONLY YOU HAD BEEN HERE, HE WOULD BE ALIVE!!!

Way too often we read the Bible like a story book. The people are characters in a story. They are not like us they are characters. In John 11:1-45 we read the account of Jesus and Lazarus. Mary and Martha Lazarus’ sisters sent word to Jesus that his friend was sick. Jesus showed up after he was buried three days. Calls him out of the grave ***poof*** all is great they have a party.

What we don’t see is the real human drama. Lazarus is sick, very sick and his sisters call to Jesus for help. They know Jesus can help, they have seen him heal the sick, they have seen him give sight to the blind, they have no doubt. Lazarus' fever is higher; Mary and Martha take turns staying up with him, putting wet towels on his head but he is getting worse. Where is Jesus? Lazarus can hardly breathe. Neither Mary nor Martha has slept over an hour in days. Where is Jesus? LAZARUS IS DEAD!!! WHERE IS JESUS? They bury Lazarus, his friends are there and he is dead. Where is Jesus? Three days he is in the grave and still no Jesus. Finally after three days Jesus shows up… A heartbroken Martha sees Jesus; she still loves him but has to say, “If you had only been here he would still be alive!” Jesus calls for the tomb to be opened and calls Lazarus to come out and he does.

If we just read the accounts as stories we always expect a happy ending. As you can see after 45 verses there is no more sickness, no sleepless nights, no waiting for days, no other side stories, just a happy ending.

Funny thing is life does not work that way. There are sleepless nights, there is waiting, we don’t know Jesus will raise the dead at the end of 45 verses…

Our 45 verses do tell of pain, our 45 verses do tell of the wondering where Jesus is, and in our 45 verses we do not know there will be a happy ending. That is the way real life works. In life we live past the 45 verses. In life the next thing happens and we are wondering what now. So the next time you read a Biblical account don’t just read the verses but read about the human drama. Read about the people not the characters. By the way, in the next verses the religious leaders plot to kill Lazarus.